Tuesday, 26 May 2015

80. Do five random acts of kindness (The Second)

My day started off shit.  A jumble of routine-gone-wrong, children procrastinating and arguing and mucking around and doing anything other than what they were meant to be.  Poorly timed pooing from the baby (oh yeah... he sure knows how to pick his moments!)  No clean school hat.  Forgotten items of clothing.  Zavian taking off out the front door to the car with my phone and wallet but not telling me, cue me frantically looking.  The kids going to the car before I've said.  Skipping breakfast.  Running late.  YAY MORNINGS!

I was in a mood.  I was ready to call off my walk with Mandy and come home from school run and eat an entire block of chocolate.  Possibly two.

I decided to push through, simply because I wanted to put Zavian on his bike and make him ride well away from me instead of getting couped up in the house with him driving me crazy.  I won't lie.  Me and Zavian didn't really see eye-to-eye this morning!  It would be easier to see eye to eye with him if he didn't keep throwing himself on the floor every 5 minutes in a fit of rage or protest or defiance or just plain to get attention.  Oh I wish I was kidding.

I hate mornings like that.  I am thankful they are few and far apart.  Honestly our routine is usually pretty easy, pretty straight forward and we run on time.  Maybe I am a bit OTT about the way I run this rather tight ship of a morning, but honestly?  When you have an autistic child, a 4 year old boy with a stubborn streak, and a baby, as well as someone elses child here for the morning... you kind of need a routine!

Anyway.  I was grumpy.  I was teetering on the edge of having a meltdown of my own.  My solution was to eat.  Once Lexi and her friend were in class, me and the boys decided to zip to Coles prior to our walk with Mandy (I decided it was a better option than a sugar high).  I grabbed a water and a yoghurt and Zavian wanted a banana milk.  I decided to zip out to the cafe out front and grab a juice and piece of their absolutely bloody fabulous toasted banana bread... Yep.  Get in mah belleh.

I was still flustered and frustrated and hoping that the baby would not lose his shit in the time it took her to make my goodies.  He was in my lap.  Losing his shit could potentially result in loss of an eye sometimes.

Whilst waiting, an elderly gentleman struck up conversation with Zavian, who happily chatted to him.  He overheard me on the phone talking to Mandy who was getting her daughter sorted after discovering a flat bike tyre.  I must have repeated the words "flat tyre" as he asked me if I was ok and how was I going to deal with my tyre, did I need anything?  He was quite elderly and I think he had come on the bus from the retirement village, so I am not sure what he would have been able to do, but his kindness in asking was certainly lovely.  It was the first time all day someone thought about me and what I needed, despite it being entirely misguided and not my tyre!  I said it was fine and it was actually a friend and it was being sorted.  He was happy and told me it must be the day for mishap, he had forgotten his wallet!  Clearly a regular, they had started to make his breakfast before he paid.  He asked if I had a pen, and then he wrote an IOU on a napkin, with his signature, and gave it to the girls behind the counter.




I decided to make my day good at that point.
So I went up to the counter, gave Zavian some money to hand over and we paid for his breakfast and coffee.
I asked for his IOU note, and wrote You have recieved a random act of kindness.  Have a great day.  :)

The girls didn't speak much English, so I am not sure they really understood what was going on there.  But I asked one of them to wait until I was gone and take the napkin back to the man and tell him his breakfast was paid for.  She didn't quite wait, but I was off before he realised where I had gone.  I didn't want him to say or do anything.

And from then in, my day was good.  Do something positive, and you will feel positive.
These moments present themselves for a reason, I think.

I challenge everyone to commit a random act of kindness this week.

Monday, 25 May 2015

60. For one month get up early and go for a walk

Adjusted - regularly walk for a month

I decided to adjust this one.  Getting up early for one month and going for walk was never going to happen, but walking needed to happen.  Morning schedule here is just so crazy and getting a walk in before Ty goes to work means going in the dark, which isn't ideal around here.

For the last 2 months I have been regularly walking, either with just the boys, or with Mandy.  Zavian loves to ride his bike and we often walk around Tygum Lagoon with Memphis in his pram and Zavian on his bike.  He will happily ride his bike 3 times around the lagoon now (3.6km) which is great.  When I don't have him I tend to go around 5 times as Memmy often falls asleep.

It's working well for us - Zavian uses up his energy, Memphis gets to yell out to people as they walk past, and I get to work on my weight loss with regular exercise.

A little bit of now.

I have deactivated my facebook account in an effort to take more notice of unfinished projects.  Eg.  This.  As well as multiple others.  I removed it from my phone to also minimise the temptation to log in.  It is only for a couple of weeks, but it is needed.  That is the biggest time wasting tool there is.

Life, as I know it, is chugging along. I've not updated here in so long.

I am currently on a weight loss journey.  Ty lost over 20kgs earlier in the year, and once he did that I realised how much I needed to do the same.  My goal is to lose 30kgs, and 2 months in I am about 8kgs down.  PCOS does make it a bit more difficult to lose it, but I'm getting there and aiming to lose it at a rate that I can then maintain it, so it's working well for me.  I am already down 1 dress size, also.  One of my 101 goals is to drop 2 dress sizes.  Considering I went up 2 dress sizes (well, I did have another baby!) in the duration of the time I've been doing this, I am probably better losing 4, but hey, lets stick with the attainable lol.  2 = good.  4 = bonus.
It is definitely a soul searching experience and I have realised that there is so much more to work on than the physical side of things.  I am really grateful though that I feel as though I have so much support and so many people on my side, cheering me on and helping me to realise my goals.  It really does make it so much easier.  I am loving having more energy and more confidence.  I was so miserable with who I was becoming.  I am an extreme comfort eater and chocolate lover.  This is not a great combo... I have made a conscious effort to really change the way I see food and the way I eat.  It's not always easy, and I have my moments when I fall of the wagon.  But I have seen what I have been able to do so far and it's encouraging enough to keep me going.



Alexis is almost 6, she will be in less than a month.  She eagerly counts down the days.  I need to start planning the birthday she is dreaming up in that little head of hers haha.  She was diagnosed recently with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and this has been a bit of a game changer for us.  Alexis has always been on the quirky side, in a completely endearing and lovable way.  None of us really saw the diagnosis coming, we were more on the thought process of ADD or ADHD, but regardless, it is what it is and we embrace her as she is and we are trying to embrace all of the therapies and everything that is required to help her out.  She is starting a cocktail of therapies at the moment - Psychologist, Speech therapist, Occupational Therapist.  She is also now attached to the SEP at school and getting some additional support and in my opinion there's been a bit of a change in the way her behaviours are being managed (a little more understanding, a little less critical).  This is progress.  She is starting to become more happy at school, for the first time this year.  This is such progress for us and for her.  I will probably write about this a lot more, now that her therapies are starting.  We have so much to learn, about autism and about what is available to help her.  And luckily for us, we have this amazing little girl to help guide us through it all.  She is amazing.



Zavian turned 4 in February.  He is still such a 'dude'.  A real little footy loving, boofhead boy.  Bless him.  He is growing up so fast.  He started Kindergarten at the local C&K at the end of January and continues to thrive in his learning environment.  His number and letter recognition develops more and more all day, he writes his name really quite well, and he enjoys all of the fun physical activities that he gets to engage in.  Zavian displays a level of defiance and such a sense of his ownself that we are unused to (Lexi has never been as headstrong as he is) and we sit at a point right now where we are learning a balance in what battles are worth fighting with him.  If anyone tests my parenting and my patience right now, it is easily Zavian!  We are considering putting him in to some form of martial arts, or SOMETHING to curb a bit of his boundless energy.  I will be putting him in to footy next year and also in to musical theatre with Lexi.  That aside though, he is such an awesome kid with this cheeky, quick witted sense of humour and with a real spunk to him.  He is so lovable, and so helpful.  He is such an amazing big brother to Memphis and spends so much time just mucking around with him and laughing.  He is so eager to go to school next year, I will miss having him with me in the day when that happens though, as much as he likes to push my buttons!



Memphis is now 18 months old and I look at him and wonder how he could possibly be that old already.  He is still so tiny, still yet to crack 8kg and still rocking his 00's.  His hair is growing and is soft and fluffy and a darker shade of blonde than the other two.  His big blue eyes dance when he smiles and he is just an easy and cruisy little man.  He is suddenly saying more words.  A couple of weeks ago he would say Dad, and we struggled to get anymore than that out of him.  He now says Mum, Dad, Nonna, Nana, Zavian, banana, meow, Maya, no, ta, 'tank oo' (thank you), hello, ola, bye, see ya, shoes, car, door, out.  So he is having a bit of a word explosion at the moment.  He also has started to tentatively walk by himself in the last few days... we have sure been waiting!  He is still building up his confidence there, but he is making progress and so incredibly adorable when he waddles around.  Memmy is definitely our most feisty bub!  He gets frustrated (I believe it's a communication issue) and he will throw some (adorable) wobblies.  He is our first child to hit/pinch so we are now dealing with how to stop those behaviours.  I do see that he does it when he is extremely frustrated and can't get his point across, so hopefully as his language develops, these little traits will be laid to rest.


So this is where we are at right now!  I have some more updates I will need to add, and that will happen eventually :)

Friday, 22 May 2015

54. Attend a yoga or zumba class

A few weeks ago I was invited along with a couple of friends to come along to a yoga class with them.  So yay for me, I get to tick off this baby from the list!

I chucked on my ol' comfy leggings and had to make a quick stop at Big W to get myself a yoga mat... because you know, I don't have one of those laying around anywhere!  Haha.

The session itself - held at a local wellness centre in Beenleigh - was really cool.  No one told me the class wasn't a beginners class, so here I am rocking and rolling and incredibly un-glamorously flailing around.  Lets just say my balance was a lot better 10 years ago.  Not that I had ever tried yoga before.

Overall though, happy dog (or unhappy dog) pose aside, it was pretty enjoyable.  And the meditation at the end?  Exactly what I needed post yoga workout AND just in general!

Wednesday, 1 April 2015

A New Mission

You know when you see a photograph of yourself and you stop and you think Wow. What happened to me? (No.  Not sharing. But thank you to my cousins who take pictures all the time... lol like I can talk.)

I am me, and I am learning to love that person.  And it is hard, because I have been body conscious my whole life, but I have never ever been this big.  However, I am in probably the best headspace I have been in quite some time and as a result I am feeling motivated and proactive.  My goals aren't like the ones I had as a teen, landing myself in hospital and having people sit outside the door if I went to the toilet.  You know.  Just in case.  I have absolutely zero desire to be 46kg ever again.  No my goals are more related to what I see.  What I wear.  I have a pair of size 14 jeans that I have had squirreled away in my wardrobe for the last 7 years, just waiting.  Because I do want to wear them again.  Although they are probably more teenager-jeans than pushing-30 mum type jeans.  But hey.  I loved those damn jeans.

In the last few weeks I've started to change my relationship with food.
I have also decided to get on top of my health.
This is something I need to do physically and mentally.

PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and a problem with comfort eating, lazy cooking (or not cooking) and 3 kids later... I am not in a good place.

I am tired, I am unhealthy.
I am not the best me that I can be.
My kids deserve more.
I deserve more.

Ty recently went on a juicing diet and lost approx 23kg.  I don't like juice, this wasn't an option for me, however I do notice his energy, his mood, the way he sees himself has changed.  I need that.  I am really proud of him.  It took willpower and motivation to sit at a table day in and day out whilst the rest of the family ate meals that he loved.  I refused to change our cooking to suit a juice diet, as obviously it is entirely unsuitable for a family.  But I do applaud him for the effort and the results.  He is looking fantastic.  And he has given me the motivation that I needed.  Because I really hate being that fat girl walking beside that trim guy!

I have made my start.
I cut out caffeinated soft drink 3 weeks ago.
I dramatically cut out soft drink (now when I'm out only.  I don't want it here!)
I've started walking.
I'm getting back in to Aqua Aerobics (when I can)
I am have started taking 1000mg of metformin a day (I am insulin resistant due to PCOS)
We are moving from a rather average diet, to a paleo diet.
I'm cutting out gluten, dairy, sugar.  (Well, trying!)
I'm trying new recipes and foods I wouldn't normally go for.
I'm trying.

The key here is I want to change.
I don't want to look in the mirror and see what I see now anymore.
I'm not sure how much I will document here.  But I need to write it down to be accountable, as a starting point.  I've only recently come clean to Tyron as to my weight, admitting what number was on the scale.  That was hard.  But it was a step towards something better.  What's the point in hiding it.  He's not blind.

My name is Gina.
I am a mother of 3.
I am 167cm tall and I weight 107kg.
I am wearing Size 18-20 and I hate it.
And I am going to be open, and accountable.



Thursday, 15 January 2015

Got boobs?

Very very very proudly at 14 months breastfeeding now!  Go Memmy!